The Question of Same Sex Attraction

In the year 2018, there is no topic more polarizing than that of same sex unions, or what the secular culture would call “gay marriage.” I don’t use the term “gay marriage,” because in a Theological sense it is a self-contradictory statement. Sacramental Matrimony, as understood by the Catholic Church, can only take place between a man and a woman. So as a Catholic, I use the term same sex union.

As people of faith, we have become timid about the Church’s teachings. Witnessing the savagery that has surrounded the new era of identity politics, we have become hesitant to voice our opinions for fear of the backlash we might incur. That backlash is becoming increasingly severe in western civilization as we see almost weekly, cases of private business owners being sued and stripped of their livelihood for trying to live lives consistent with the demands of their conscience.

Amidst the noise and confusion, we must ask ourselves this question: what is the Church’s vision for people with same sex attraction? The answer is profoundly simple: the Church’s vision for homosexuals is no different from Her vision for heterosexuals. We are called to know, love and serve God while discerning the vocation that He is calling us to live out. This is a reality that comes as a surprise to most gay rights activists. There is a common misconception that Catholics with same sex attraction are given a separate, and much more difficult set of rules to adhere to – but that’s simply not true.

At the end of the day you hear a lot of talk about love. Slogans like, “Love is Love” and “Love Wins,” are plastered all over social media. The common liberal mantra is: “People should be able to love whoever they want to love;” to which the Catholic should respond, “Absolutely!” In fact, we must take it even one step further because Christ called us to love everyone, not just the people we ‘want to love.’

This is where the modern secularist becomes frustrated and befuddled. The point of confusion surrounds the use of the word ‘love.’ We take the word love at face value (meaning: to will the good for another), but when the left talks about the license to love freely, what they are really talking about is sex. And that is where the Church draws a very necessary line. Why? Because we hate gays and want to ruin their lives? Because we think homosexuals should be held to a higher standard? Because we are closed minded prudes? No, no, and no.

We have very strict rules about sex because we know that sex was created by God (not Miley Cyrus), and that it was created for a very specific purpose. That purpose is the unitive and procreative expression of love between two spouses united in the sacrament of Holy Matrimony… Period. Anything and everything that falls outside of that exclusive definition is considered sinful. It doesn’t matter if you are an unmarried couple, or a husband having an affair, or a gay couple; the answer to all of them is: that’s not what sex was designed for. In fact, the group of people who the Church holds to the highest standard of sexual ethics are Catholic priests (no sex for you, ever, period). It’s not about singling out homosexuals and telling them what they shouldn’t do. It’s about determining the divine purpose of sexual intimacy and telling everyone (gay and straight alike) what they should do, regarding sex.

Sex is the single most powerful tool at the disposal of humanity. It is because of sex that humanity has existed for thousands of years and will continue to exist. Like all great and powerful things at our disposal we must treat them with the respect they are due. You shouldn’t use an iPhone to hammer a nail. Even though you probably could, that is not what the iPhone was designed for. You shouldn’t use sex outside of the bounds of Holy Matrimony. Even though you’re physically able to, that’s not what sex was designed for. We are all called to uphold this standard in our lives, no matter what type of sexual temptation we may face.

As for the separate issue of love, we are called to an even higher standard in that regard. It’s not enough to just “love whoever we want to love” (as the mantra goes); we must love everyone – straight or gay, friend or foe, neighbor or stranger, liberal or conservative. These are all just labels to hide behind while hurling insults in the arena of identity politics. They are barriers that must be torn down if we are to truly live out God’s radical call to love as we were intended. Then, and only then, can we truly say, “love wins.”